Monday, 15 August 2011

Testing Humanity ... with bag watching.

As a rule I try and avoid political topics as they always seem to rile someone up. That being said, avoiding all mention of the recent riots seems ignorant. 
I was not in London over the period of most anarchic days but even Bristol, post-micro-riots, what I experienced was incredibly unnerving - businesses closing early, suspicious looks passing between innocents, a horrible distrusting atmosphere. 
Leaving Bristol on the Thursday after the long weekend of rioting, I decided to test humanity by leaving a stranger with my bag on a train platform. I often do this - obviously primarily for convenience - but also with the slight interest in what will happen. One is always slightly playing with fire (unfortunate, yet unavoidable, phrase considering the opening topic), however innocent the person seems - always running the risk of bag and stranger being gone when they return from get a sandwich/coffee/the lavatory/whatever. As of yet, it has worked out a-ok. I’ve been lucky.
This occasion was particularly interesting as the bag I was using looks exactly like a “shifty bag”. If someone said that, it is what one would picture - a grey, old, rectangle suitcase. One that is so impractical to carry in the age of wheel-y bags and rucksacks that no-one in their right mind would use it. Unless they thought it was as funny as I do. Walking through a station I am sure the police will stop me and ask to look for drugs hidden in statues, or illegal monkeys.
This considered, I am most flattered when a young girl agrees to watch my bag while I go and buy a drink.

Monday, 1 August 2011

Wedding Wardrobe: Conclusion

After a few 'try-ons', I have chosen a navy 'just above the knee' dress with a white "bib", and Chanel-esque white and navy pumps. It is hilariously matching - very "Von Trapp family" chic. At least, there will be no moon-walking requests this time! Pray for no Austrian musical scores.

Wedding Wardrobe

I have a friend's wedding next weekend in Devon. What on earth does one wear to a wedding? The last one I attended was a school friend's last summer, to which I wore some black patent loafers, white socks, tapered silk trousers, a cropped cream top and a blazer. I was happy with this as I looked perfectly appropriate, although glaringly contrary to my friends in heels and smart dresses. Also, what puts me off donning a similar get-up is that when Michael Jackson's 'Billie Jean' started playing, one of my peers noticed the shoe-sock combination and insisted that I moon-walked.
So, this time I was thinking to go for the more conventional dress. Yet, this in itself is problematic. What colour? Obviously not white, that would be a cardinal sin. Black? Too somber, especially in August. That leaves 'colours' and, as a red-headed person, this is a complete minefield. Pink brings out the rosy tones in my skin, and I look like a piglet. Orange? Yellow? Complete no-no's. Red?! Heaven forbid. Grey? Grey can look very elegant in the right fabric and on the right stature, but on my budget and 5"6 frame it will inevitably border 'office wear'.
I think I'll go with blue; a safe navy.
Even with the hue decided, there are other necessary areas to consider - the length, for example, is still debatable. I don't think weddings are maxi-dress territory. However, too short would also be highly improper.
"That's it. I'm not going." ('The Grinch')